


Choices

by eucleia



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:33:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27972404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eucleia/pseuds/eucleia
Summary: He never gets to ask her whether she would like to have dinner sometime; between all the conversations and the decisions they need to make to pick their lives back up, they fall into a relationship as easily as they fell into war.
Relationships: Jyn Erso & Bodhi Rook
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	Choices

He never gets to ask her whether she would like to have dinner sometime; between all the conversations and the decisions they need to make to pick their lives back up, they fall into a relationship as easily as they fell into war. He chooses to heed its call and she follows his lead. Together, they discover parts of themselves they'd never known:

she discovers a past, the family she should have had, the strength to keep moving forward and a hope for a future rebuilt;

he discovers the bravery in choice, all the different blocks that make him sturdy, not weak, and a light at the end of a tunnel that feels like home.

Together, they find peace, they find refuge from the dark, they find healing against the demons that plague them both. He helps her piece together the life she could have had and she helps him stay afloat when he drowns beneath every decision he's ever made. It's natural, really, to fall together.

"You're comfortable," she tells him one night, her mouth resting against his shoulder. The words come out muffled but decipherable, and Bodhi turns to look at her so she juts her chin up and rests it on his shoulder so they are nose to nose, their breaths mingling. She doesn't need to say he feels like home for him to hear it.

"You're comfortable, too," he murmurs, closing his eyes and letting his head lean until their foreheads touched. He tells her the best he can that she's his life now, that she's his family and his everything.

She kisses him to say, _you too_.

They realise love isn't easy.

They realise it when Bodhi wakes up in a cold sweat and reaches for her, shuddering in relief as his fingers curl around warm skin. They realise it when Jyn wakes up screaming and can't speak when he asks her if she wants to talk about it. It would be easy, so much easier, to walk away; to not have to care, to not have to fear and hurt.

Choosing to love each other over and over again is like making decisions on the battlefield of Scarif, the hardest calls being the necessary ones; they need to love each other despite the pain.

Every time Jyn goes limp in his arms and refuses to look at him, Bodhi forces himself to remember hot sand and tall trees. He makes himself remember Jyn, eyes determined and blaster raised, leaving without a goodbye. He thinks of the moment he thought he wouldn't see her again and focuses on the near future when the pain won't be as overwhelming and she will turn to him again, as she always does.

Every time Bodhi jerks awake and paces the room, wordless and harried, Jyn remembers warm brown eyes, wide and scared and focused on her just before she turned her back to them. She remembers the deep and rushing relief that struck her when she saw him behind the controls of the ship that rescued her, and the feeling of him solid and trembling under her hands. Jyn remembers it and gets out of the warm bed and onto the cold floor and takes his hand in hers and smiles at him when he meets her gaze.

No, love isn't easy, and some days, living is harder than any death they could have experienced, harder than any what-ifs and could-have-beens, harder than the I-love-yous and the promises.

But some days, death is a distant thought. Some days, she finds life in the way he smiles, ands he finds purpose in her laughter. Some days, the wide blue sky isn't suffocating, and the grind of daily life is freeing. And when they stay up all night, talking and laughing, they're both glad that they held on.


End file.
